A few days ago, I went to the wedding of one of my childhood friends. First of all, she was absolutely stunning, breathtaking, and gorgeous. The set-up was beautiful, the vows were amazing, and I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. If you know me, you know that I have quite the obsession with weddings and marriage. I love to hear and see people getting engaged, planning their weddings, and reaping the harvest of their labor – the wedding day. Most of my Instagram feed is pictures and videos of weddings, engagement rings, proposals, and check-lists for the perfect weddings. Because I am so intrigued with them, I believe I started to become more concerned with the commercialization of it all. I became more impressed with the dress, the food, the sparkle, the glam, and the worldliness of a wedding than I was with the actual point of being married. I became more into the glitz than the reason marriage was created in the first place – to glorify God and to show the world His love through two people.
I was hit with some heavy truths and revelations at this particular wedding. God spoke some things to me that I really wasn’t expecting nor did I know I needed to hear them. During my friend’s wedding ceremony, I was met with the most beautiful picture of Christ’s vision for marriage than I’d ever seen before. Not only was I able to see God’s vision for human marriage but I was able to see God’s vision for my relationship with Him even. I was brought to tears by the pure love, joy, and Jesus I witnessed on that day. God was in my face during the entire ceremony like “Hey hey. *snaps snaps* This is what a wedding is for. This is why people get married. This is who I want you to be before you get married. This is what I want you to think of when you think about weddings.” God used this wedding to reconnect with me in a way that Him and I haven’t been connected in a long time. I was able to see my relationship with Christ through this ceremony, and I was able to see why I am not the person I need to be in order to be married. I was able to come to terms with the struggles I’ve been facing in my identity and to get a new grasp on purpose. I realized that so much of the gospel can be found in God’s design for weddings and marriage! Here are a few of the truths God slapped me with at this wedding:
First Truth: There is no end to the love of Christ. During the wedding I heard the phrase “there shall be no end” and my mind went swirling into a thousand different places of what the phrase means, how it could be applied, and how I could use it. I kept hearing the phrase “there is no end to the love of Christ” over and over again. It was like God was using this wedding to remind me of how much He loved ME. Like God this has nothing to do with me but you’re so relentless in your pursuit of me that you’re using this idea that I am obsessed with (marriage) to remind me of who You are to me as a single woman. God met me with this earth-shattering truth. This isn’t something that I didn’t already know. It was just something I’d forgotten and hadn’t been meditating on in my everyday life. His love is unconditional, all knowing, always giving, never leaving. It is reckless, it consoles, it fights for you, and most importantly it is eternal. The word eternal means without end or beginning. To be eternal is to be something that is timeless, continuous, and everlasting. Even through ups and downs, fights with people and even the Lord, miscommunications, death, or any other circumstance that pops up in life, there shall be no end to love of Christ.
Eternal means forever. Forever is a long time. That’s how long God loves us.
The first truth forced me to come face to face with the second truth. You must understand love before you can be married and pledge your love to someone. You can’t take vows saying you promise to give somebody something you don’t have a clear revelation on. We’ve all heard 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, but something about that verse becomes way more real when you realize that two human beings are committing themselves to embodying this verse for the rest of their lives. The words become more than just words. They become a way of life. Godly love REALLY should be patient, kind, not envious, not boastful or proud. It shouldn’t dishonor others, be self-seeking, or easily angered. Love should keep no record of wrongs and should not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love should always protects, always trust, always hope, and always persevere. Love means I’m giving up all these negative traits, all these single ways of life, and even myself to be who I need to be in order for me to love another person forever. That’s heavy. Love means I give myself to Christ to change me into someone strong enough to love another person. Love says I commit to giving away all of my desires in order to better fit the needs of another person.
I don’t embody all of these qualities yet, which means I’m still learning how to love, which means I’m not ready to be married.
The third truth is that it’s important to get your life together and aligned with Christ BEFORE you’re married. A lot of people believe that getting married will be the pinnacle that forces you to be a better person, to love more, and to reach purpose. The truth is you have to do all those things before the marriage. When you get married, you become ONE with another person. That means everything you have, they get. Every bit of a hot mess you are, they will have to deal with. You just don’t put a ring on your finger and *poof* become this magical version of yourself. You have to do the work before the marriage. Work on yourself, figure out who you are in Christ, get rid of some of those insecurities, find your stride, get to know yourself out of the confines of being with another person, make sure you are becoming exactly who God wants you to be BEFORE the marriage, so you won’t take all of your drama into the marriage. Marriage comes with it’s own stuff. Don’t take old stuff into your new situation to be mixed with your new stuff.
Marriage doesn’t cover up your flaws. It shines a light on them.
The most though provoking truth was that your marriage should be a picture of worship. When you get married, you don’t continue your individual life as is. You come together to create a new picture – one that stands to worship the Lord. To worship means to adore, to reverence, to honor. So the coexistence and mergence of your life with another human being should adore, reverence, and honor Christ. How do you worship Christ in your single life? Worship should be us expressing our hearts for Christ through the way we live our lives. It’s an act of honor. It’s something that is crucial for the foundation of your marriage. If you can’t worship together, what’s the point? It’s important to know and acknowledge WHO gets the worship in your marriage. Worship Christ, NOT each other. Don’t make an idol of your husband. Worship Christ through loving and submitting to your husband, but remember that he AIN’T your God. It’s also important to note that God responds to our worship. The promise of worshipping Him is that He will come. So the good news is that worshipping Him in your marriage helps you obtain His promise – that He’ll be there.
It matters who you marry. If they ain’t worshipping single, they won’t do it married.
I really wasn’t aware that weddings had the power to teach us so many things about God’s idea of love, worship, and the relationships He desires to have with us. It’s crazy how He used one of the things I’m completely infatuated with to show me myself and to show me how much of my ideals about marriage were wrong. I am forever grateful that I got to witness my friends sweet union to the love of her life but am even more grateful for the encounter with Christ I had while doing so.
As always love God, love people, and check your perception of marriage next to the gospel. Make sure it’s in line!
If you have any questions about my walk with Christ, my blogs, or my life, feel free to email me at “firstname.lastname@example.org”! Follow me on social media to keep up with my blog through that avenue! Insta: _sincerelyimani and Facebook: Sincerely Imani 🙂