If you know me, you know my story with purity. You know how it burdens me, and you know that the idea of it is SUPER important to me. I believe that, like I used to, other people have an underdeveloped idea about what purity really is, what it should look like in our lives, and how we can achieve it. I’ve felt strongly about the issue for about a year now but lately, I feel like God has been pressing into me to be more of an advocate for it. It literally pains me to know that women are awakening love before it is time. It hurts me to watch women get heartbroken over and over again in relationships full of lust, sex, and sin. It burdens me that we live in such a hyper-sexualized culture. It breaks me to know that women believe sexual liberation is good when in reality, it’s dangerous. It pains me to see others giving away one of the most important things that we have — purity — to people who are so unworthy of it. (Notice I didn’t say virginity.)
Here are some things to consider about purity:
- You are not pure just because you are a virgin. I’ve always lived my life and operated in relationships with “staying a virgin” at the fore front of my mind. And that’s really how a lot of us think when it comes to relationships, sex, and purity. I have ALWAYS held on to my virginity with a fierceness because I believed I was okay as long as I didn’t have sex. I think a lot of times living a pure life doesn’t work for us, scares us, or even seems hard to us because our motives are off. Motivation for purity shouldn’t be to follow a set of rules but to honor God. We think that as long we have a “V-card”, we are holier and more pure than others who have engaged in sex before marriage. WRONG. I’m a virgin but I haven’t always lived a life without sexual intimacy nor gone to extensive measures to keep my spirit pure. I really don’t believe God’s ultimate goal for us is to be virgins. Yes, we are to save ourselves for marriage BUT I believe His bigger goal for us is to live a pure life in mind, body, and spirit. The ultimate goal is to live HOLY. Holiness equals purity, not virginity.
- Being pure and fleeing from sexual immorality is a more a heart thing than a physical thing. Sexual sin starts with your heart and ends with your body. If you can get your heart in check and be pure in spirit, the body part won’t be so bad. With much revelation, a lot of tears from putting myself in situations full of sin and hurt, and being disconnected from God, I realized that this idea of “purity” is about much more than wearing a ring, not having sex until marriage, and being able to say “at 20, I’m still a virgin.” It is about living a life worthy of being called a child of God. It’s about making sure my heart is aligned with the life other people believe I live, so that my actions can represent that as well. Living a pure life is having a lot of moments where you “check your heart at the door.” (literally)
- You are not dirty or disgusting in the eyes of the Lord because of sexual sin. Personally, becoming sexually or physically intimate with someone on any level has always left me feeling dirty, unworthy, and has even taken my zeal for worshipping the Lord. It always makes me feel empty and unusable. It brings about feelings of shame and thoughts of doubting God’s love for me. I’ve found myself feeling like I couldn’t worship the Lord in church because of the shame. I almost feel like everybody knows and can see it on me. I tend to shut down parts of my life – reading the word, praying, talking about God. It honestly always puts a stopping point in pursuing my godly purpose. I know that I was created to reach women and to live a life that shows other women how to live for God but if I’m in sin, I don’t feel like I’m worthy of my calling and that is NOT what God wants for us. God doesn’t see you any differently than He sees someone who lies or cheats or steals. Your sin is not dirtier or less tolerable than anyone else’s. He doesn’t see us as dirty or unfit to do His work because of our choice of sin. He sees us as His child and someone worthy of a new beginning despite our sin no matter what you or other people think.
- The true beauty in God’s mercy and this life we’ve been given is that anyone can redeem themselves and start living a life free from sexual sin. All we have to do is repent! God DOESN’T care what your past looks like. He doesn’t care how many partners you’ve had, if you were addicted to porn, or if you’ve given into sexual sin more times than you want to admit. I believe there are others who have indeed had sex but have lived and are living purer lives than the one I used to simply because of the grace and mercy God bestows upon those who believe and choose to live for Him. When we repent, we are given the chance to be FREE from the weight of sin and the weight of soul ties or any other ailment that comes along with sexual sin. People won’t forget but GOD does! In repenting, our sins are ERASED from His memory. So maybe you repent and you aren’t a virgin anymore in the eyes of people but SO WHAT? You are PURE in the eyes of the Lord and that is truly all that matters. God’s grace is there to cover us and give us peace about our past NOT to make us weary or ashamed of who we were.
So if you’re like me and you’ve lived life based on a set of rules, or you’ve had sex and you want to be free from that weight, or you just want to start living a pure life, or even if you aren’t ready to live in purity, consider these things —-
- Repent and lay it down
- Die to your flesh every single day
- Don’t live in guilt or shame because there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ
- Know that God wouldn’t have told us to live a life of purity if it wasn’t possible
- Be carful of things you let influence your spirit (movies, books, people, etc.)
- Choose God first
- Don’t love sex or sin more than you love Jesus
- Choose to live a life of purity once and for all
I am at a point in my life where I would give up anything or anyone if it means I am in a place that I can hold on to my purity. I am for real choosing to pursue purity with a radicalness like never before, and I believe it is a part of my purpose to lead others in that same direction. I know that living a life of authentic purity is for my own good and will only bring God the glory and that ultimately should be the driving force of our entire lives – to bring Glory to the name of Jesus. So know that you are worthy of respect, you are worthy of God’s love, you are worthy of forgiveness, and you are worthy of new beginnings.
As always love God, love people, and get ready for my new blog series “Pursuing Purity”.