My Boyfriend is NOT the Love of my Life

I had a realization during worship Sunday morning. I was overwhelmed and so moved by the presence of God. I was emotional because I could feel Jesus coming in and fixing all of the broken parts of me that morning. I felt so loved and vulnerable in that moment. I started talking to the Lord and words flowed from my mouth like poetry. I wasn’t even sure where I was getting the words from, but they came. I told Jesus that He was amazing and so gracious and so merciful. I thanked Him for loving me unconditionally and without strings attached and rules. I told Jesus that HE was the love of my life. That sentence stopped me in my tracks. It was almost as if a light went off in my head and I knew I had to write about what I realized.

JESUS HAS BEEN, IS, AND WILL ALWAYS BE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

He is my first love, last love, and everything in between. He loved me before I was even thought of. He died on the cross taking pain and suffering that was meant for me. Why? Because he loves me. Jesus saw me, He thought of me, and He knew I was a mess, but He laid down His life and took away MY burden of sin.. Why? Because he loves me. Even when I disobey Him, catch an attitude with Him, or forget that I am nothing without Him, He still loves me. When I take my eyes off of Him and become blinded by this world, He still loves me. When I stumble and fall wallowing in my sin, when I disregard His presence, and when I forget to love the people in my life, He shows me grace and mercy to no end. When I run back to Him after trying and failing to go at this life alone, He accepts me with open arms. Why? Because I am His CHILD and He loves His children.

It is for these reasons that I was so heavily convicted this past Sunday. I realized that I had been putting too much thought and energy into loving my boyfriend the way the world describes and operates in love. I thought of him as the love of my life, the first man of my life, and the one who held my heart. In doing so, I put WAY to much responsibility and heavy weight on him. Because I gave Jeremiah titles and love I should’ve saved for Jesus, I expected him to do things that only Jesus could do. Like take away my pain, or give me peace, or be a constant source of appreciation. I expected all of this of Jeremiah when in reality Jesus is better! Jeremiah is an amazing boyfriend, and he is everything I want in a spouse one day but he AIN’T Jesus. Jesus is always better. Jesus shows me HOW to love, He has always been the FIRST man in my life, and HE has always and will forever hold my heart. Jesus loves me way more than Jeremiah can ever fathom loving me. The truth is I was sinning. I know that people are convicted by different things, but the way I put my boyfriend on a pedestal really convicted me at the time. Jesus cares about my entire being. He thinks of me when I don’t think of myself. He gives me strength and courage whenever I’m afraid. He leads me and guides me into His light and into the calling on my life every single day. My boyfriend can’t be everything that Jesus can be to and for me. Jesus deserves all of the love, honor, and worship I have to give.

It’s hard to believe I didn’t discover this sooner seeing that everything that I do is for Jesus. Even the way I love, respect, and care about my boyfriend is done with Jesus in mind (except when I have an attitude lol). I strive to facilitate, create, and build relationships with Jesus’ life in mind. How could I not love Jesus before all others when I’m trying to model MY life after His? How can I not love Jesus wholeheartedly when I’m trying to model the way I love after His love for the entire world? How can I not put Jesus at the top of my list? How can my heart not adore Him? How can I not love Him the most?

The truth is we are all lost, broken, and misguided without Jesus. The truth is He makes life worth living with his forever and overwhelming supply of grace. The REAL truth is WE NEED HIM. This life we live is worth NOTHING without Him. We are weak, poor, and suffering without Him. The truth is money, fame, the material things, none of it compares to the love of the Lord. His love is unfailing, selfless, caring, devoted, unconditional, with no restraints, His love heals, His love multiplies, and His love SAVES. He deserves to be the number one man in all of our loves. He deserves to be loved first and most because He loved us enough to save us.

So if you’re a woman and say things to your significant other that hinders or goes against the way you should feel about Jesus, correct it. Don’t say things to your boyfriend like “you complete me’, “you’re my other half”, or “you’re the love of my life.” Those things aren’t true. You are complete and whole in Christ. You don’t NEED someone else to complete you. Don’t give away love, efforts, emotions, or words that should be saved for the Lord. Once you correct the way you see Jesus and start giving Him the love and words He TRULY deserves, the other areas in your life will correct themselves. Your relationship with your boyfriend will line up. Your relationship with your family will line up. Your relationships with your friends will line up. Most importantly, your relationship with the world’s idea of love will be severed.

I texted Jeremiah and told him that he was the SECOND love of my life on Sunday night. I told him that Jesus is first. He replied and said, “He should be.” He wasn’t upset. He wasn’t offended. He understood the depth of my love for the Lord and he believed that my priorities were in order. Ladies, if your man responds any differently, he has to go. You and your significant other should both love Jesus more than you love each other.

Psalm 136:26 reminds us that God’s love for us is steadfast and it endures forever. Nothing compares to that. Nobody can love you better. There is nobody like Jesus. Life begins and life will end with Him. So, today make Him your first love, last love, and the love of your life. As always love God, love people, and remember to love Jesus more.

10 thoughts on “My Boyfriend is NOT the Love of my Life

  1. Just because a person show just as much love to their partner does not mean he or she is neglecting Jesus or putting someone above Jesus. In my opinion, all of this “Jesus is my boyfriend” rhetoric is what got folks single or in problematic relationships (not that you are in one). One person will end up becoming too focused on trying to love Jesus and end up neglecting loving the one in flesh who needs to be loved as well. Here is the solution: People need to learn how to balance out the love.

    “The church hasn’t offered much by way of alternatives. In the evangelical church, there’s far too much “Jesus is my boyfriend” or “I’m dating Jesus”-type songs and teaching that it trivializes the kind of intimacy that can exist between God and humanity. Humans were made for relationship with God, but we were also made for relationships with each other.”

    https://sojo.net/articles/no-jesus-isnt-my-boyfriend-and-other-lessons-single-christians-valentines-day

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    1. Hello,
      I never said if you loved your partner just as much you were neglecting Jesus. Most of the article was referring to my personal conviction and my personal relationship. I said nothing about Jesus being my boyfriend. I distinguished very well between the two. I think its ludicrous when people say things like that creating a romantic intimacy between them and Jesus. I just believe that when we love our spouses MORE or put responsibility on them that Jesus can handle better, it puts extra weight on the relationship. I thin she read it again with a different mindset and you might see it differently. Thanks for your feedback and I respect your opinion.
      -Imani

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      1. Also, I believe putting focus on loving Jesus can only HELP a romantic relationship. If you’re focused on loving Him, you’re focused on pleasing Him and living a life after His, which will only cause you to love your spouse with Jesus in mind. So you won’t nag him, you won’t talk down to him, you won’t catch unnecessary attitudes, etc.. Still I respect your thoughts.

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