Anybody who knows me knows that all of my life, I’ve struggled with the concept of friendship. Not only did I accept unhealthy love in relationships, I accepted false ideas of what a friend should really be. I was a complete pushover for most of my life honestly. I let people push me around, lie to me and on me, pick me up and put me down whenever they wanted to, and let them hurt me immensely. I wasn’t choosing my friends carefully (Proverbs 12:26). I was letting my so called friends choose me based off of what I could do for them. After years of never finding the friend I always wanted, I settled in the fact that I was a friend to almost everyone I knew, but no one was truly a friend to me. I was always there for people. When ay of my “friends” needed someone to listen to them, I was there. When any of them needed advice, I was there. When any of them needed silent company, I was there. But when I needed those things, I only had me. I tried to be the best friend I could be to those who needed it, so that maybe I could get that in return. Instead, I just ended up giving too much of myself away. I was so tired of being there for myself that I nearly gave up on myself. I prayed and asked God over and over for a friend who would love me, care for me, correct me, and treat me the way I believed I needed to be. Last semester, I let go of every definition of “friend” I knew. I had no more hope for finding a friend that was mine. I was lonely, defeated, and I was going through the toughest semester of my life as far as change, growth, and development is concerned. I needed someone. Someone to talk to, someone to reassure me, someone to pray for me, or someone to watch me cry. I needed someone to tell me when I was overthinking, or to remind me that God was always in my corner. I needed someone to help me get through this hard stage in my life, but there was just me. During this time, I got to know myself very well. I experienced growth like never before. God shaped me, molded me, and prepared me for the next season of my life. The one good thing that came form my extreme season of loneliness was self-development and growth.
One day I opened up to someone about my journey with friends and the fact that I had none (LOL). This particular conversation had to be ordained by God, because I never expected to tell anyone about this. From that moment on, this person made it their mission to show me what true friendship is. I can say wholeheartedly that Maya Rex has taught me the meaning of real, true, authentic friendship, ordained by God, and I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this for so long. One important thing that Maya brought to my attention was that I was looking for friends in the wrong places. I then opened my eyes and realized that I had more friends than I thought. Friends that had been around for awhile waiting for me to notice them, to invite them into my life.
See the thing is.. Friendship is truly God-given and God-Ordained. It is a blessing to have friends you can depend on. At this moment in my life, I have a very well-rounded, dynamic group of friends and I thank God for them. They support me, challenge me, push me, love me, accept me, and correct me when I’m wrong. Real friends are reliable (Proverbs 18:24). Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” The girls I consider my authentic friends are WISE. They are so intelligent and so willing to give me some of their smartness. They are also wise due to the fact that when they don’t know something, they seek out the knowledge. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” I studied this passage and what i found blew my mind. It means that a REAL friend loves you no matter what. They stick with you when you’re prosperous and when you are in distress. They stand by your side even when you miss up. When fake friends forsake you and leave you, God-ordained friends will be standing with you waiting to face adversity together. A brother in this particular passage of scripture can be translated into a relative. So it means that your relatives are BORN to face adversity with you. Now when studying further, I found that “brothers” or “relatives” aren’t necessarily related to you by name or by blood. The words “friend” and “brother” can be interchanged in this scripture and can actually be the same person. This means that even your friends were BORN to help you through hard times (adversity). This also means that God purposefully created people for you to be friends with. That concept it SO profound to me.
I said all this to say, don’t settle for anything less than God’s best for you when it comes to friendship. Don’t accept anyone who won’t put in the work. Real friends don’t come easy, but they are truly worth the wait. I finally have people in my life worthy of being called my friend, and it feels good. I can be vulnerable with them because they’re trustworthy. I can let them into the worst parts of me because they’ll see good in them. My friends and I help each other to grow and mature in all the right places, including in spiritual things. We make each other better (Proverbs 27:17). I hope and pray the same for everyone else out there searching for authentic friends. As always love God, love people. And love yourself enough to wait for authentic friends.